InsanityIn a few words
by Tallia-kuroneko
Summary: When me and my friend get stuck in Trigun...Crazy stuff happens! Rated for language and suggestive themes
1. Phase One

"Plug it in, plug it in!" Linger was contentedly blaring out the theme-song for Glade Plugins. She was also hanging over the couch plugging in the toaster in order to make herself PopTarts downstairs while Shadow was busy getting the Trigun DVD to play.

"LINGER! SHUT UP!" Shadow's sharp, somewhat desperate command silenced her friend who was still humming the tune as she crammed her PopTart into the toaster. Shadow's brow was furrowed as she glared at the laptop. The two were attempting to play their favorite Trigun DVD, "High Noon". It was around the thirtieth time they were watching it... in a row. Linger's parents were using the big screen, and they needed more outlets for the toaster so they'd moved to her room. Linger was dirty from gardening, and a few branches were sticking out of her hair. Her backpack was beneath her rump, and Shadow was seated on the floor. They were back from a day of weeding for summer income. A few of the plants were saved in Linger's bag because she liked them. The bag still held their lunch, water bottles, and CD or MP3 players. It had been a drive to where they were weeding so they'd brought entertainment and food. None of it was used of course because they were too busy driving Linger's mother insane by singing separate songs to their headphones.

"I want my Knivels!" Linger whined pitifully as another error message popped up on the laptop screen.

"LEGATO!" bawled Shadow, her eyes welling with soggy tears. Linger glared at the compter, and gave it good smack in the hard drive.

"You made Shadow-"the ring of the toaster broke her concentration. Maybe now would be a good idea why these two were kept in the same building.

You see, it begins with a short little kid entering her new classroom in 4th grade. She's given a seat across from a taller girl. Neither realized it, but they were pretty close looking. Now they're frequently mistaken for sisters. It's been a few years so I forget how the two actually became friends. Linger was the short kid, and Shadow was the tall one. After fifth grade Linger unfortunately moved away from her friend, back to the USA. The two had been happily causing chaos at their school in Venezuela. Shadow and Linger kept in contact, and Shadow visits every year during the summer. The second summer she's visiting is when this little ditty takes place. Both are going into eighth grade, and are 13 year old teenagers, well Shadow's 14. Linger's become a schizophrenic, psychotic, idiotic, easily obsessive person on a constant sugarhigh. She's also lost a good million or so braincells, rendering her common sense level somewhere in the negatives. Shadow has a good deal more sense then her completely stupid counterpart. She's also free of voices and fleas, and not on a constant sugarhigh. Did I mention she's got over two dozen anime husbands? It's her hobby. Linger's hobby is figuring out how to fit two quarters up her nose while talking to Bob, a plushie spider. What a happy pair the two are. Still, they're best friends. Back to our little story now.

At the precise moment as the DVD began to run in Linger's laptop, the toaster dinged. That's when reality went whack. A bright flash of white and the two were sitting in the middle of an empty, barren desert. Shadow blinked, shocked. Linger was bawling because she hadn't grabbed her PopTart before they were zapped into the middle of nowhere. Then the PopTart fell into her hands, and without further thought she munched on it. Shadow looked into the sky questioningly, and saw the black dot of Linger's bag. Placing her arms out, it fell simply into them. Shadow blinked again. Linger looked up, having finished her PopTart. Licking her greasy, crumby fingers she looked around.

"DUDE! It's all like, Wizard-of-Dumb-ish 'cept we landed in Kansas!" she exclaimed, laughing. A moment later she was brained by a silver toaster. Shadow looked up again, and noticed Linger's laptop hurtling towards the ground. Making a dive, she grabbed the thing.  
"OW! Damn that HURT!" Linger said, biting her lower lip and holding her head. Shadow's jaw dropped as she looked at Linger. Before her didn't whine her normal, human counterpart. Linger had... wolf ears?! Her grey wolf ears poked out of her brown hair. A grey tail sat lazily behind her. Also she was wearing heavy black jeans that she hadn't been before. Her NYC hoodie was replaced by a larger, baggier Slipknot one. Linger began licking PopTart crumbs off her fingers again, completely forgetting the fact that she'd just been hit with a toaster. Shadow felt the top of her head and her face. She was human, but wait, cat ears? She looked down and there was a cat-tail, and a school skirt. Looking at the laptop screen, her eyes widened. The Trigun DVD was playing...

"Holy shit Linger... we're not in Kansas. We're in Trigun!" she gasped.


	2. Phase Two

Sorry! I forgot to put a Dislamer in the first one! .

Disclamer: I do not own, Poptarts, TY Beanie Babys, Trigun or anything else in this story, except Linger, Bob and the Toaster.....

Phase 2: Realization

Shadow's eyes went all starry, and she began to drool. Linger blinked a few times, and continued licking her fingers.

"Lehhhgaaatohhhhh," drooled Shadow, who was swaying back and forth, looking drunk.

"Awwww, I'm outta PopTarts!" announced Linger, who then stood up and shouldered her pack. Shadow was still all dreamy and dazed, and around now Linger noticed the toaster and laptop. Gladly she threw them in the pack as well and pulled it on again.

"Shadow, we gotta find s'more PopTarts!" Linger blinked, and then hauled Shadow to her feet. Shadow followed Linger, not caring where they went. They were in Trigun, with Legato! Wait, in "High Noon" Legato died. She snapped back into this strange reality that had dumped them in Trigun and put a vicegrip on Linger's arm. A strange, determined glint was in her eye.

"Oh hell," muttered Linger, and Shadow was off, instinct driving her towards her favorite husband.

"LEGATO I'M COMING FOR YOU!" she cackled insanely, Linger allowing Shadow to drag her through the wasteland with a dull expression on her face.

In the pack, a rather unhappy traveler was along for the trip. Bob, Linger's plushie had been brought to life in the world of anime. He was being bumped around with oranges, a smuggled Zippo lighter won without parental supervision in the amusement park arcade, and various other items. He was mainly concerned with avoiding the laptop and Toaster. So the trio went through the barren, unforgiving wasteland at the rate of a sandsteamer, with an glinty-eyed, cat-eared girl in the lead. Linger just sort of bounced along on the ground, her arm losing feeling in Shadow's iron grip. Bob was nowhere to be seen, of course, because he was in the pack.

Despite their insane speed and dead-on directions the two were only halfway to BLANK by the time it was dark. Linger had all but fallen asleep, and Shadow had all but slowed.

"Eh, Shadow, I gotta sleep n' stuffs!" commented Linger dryly, still being unceremoniously dragged through a darkening wasteland. Her eyes roved the horizon, and smiled dumbly.

"Dey do got a pretty night sky in Trigun!" she commented, staring quite captivated into it.

"And they're even prettier with Legato!" Shadow sharply replied, still at her breakneck sprint across the desert. Yes, Shadow WAS obsessive over Legato, and most of her other husbands. Shadow was on a quest, to find Legato! Linger was on a quest, to get a nagging bit of earwax out of her ear with her pinky.

Around a half hour later, Linger spotted a nice little rock formation beautifully positioned in front of one of the moons of Gunsmoke. Firmly, the smaller, slighter, and insaner bit of the duo slammed on the breaks. Basically she stuck her butt on the ground and skidded until Shadow stopped.

"LINGER!" Shadow barked, attempting to yank her counterpart from the ground. Linger stubbornly remained on her bum, brow furrowed. The serious expression ended as she yawned, and sprinted towards the rock. Shadow blinked, then realized Linger was going the WRONG WAY.

"YOU IDIOT! Get back here! That's the wrong freakin' way!" Shadow hollered, eyes ablaze with anger. Linger just ran faster, finally getting to the rock formation... completely slamming into it. Right onto her back she fell, on top of the pack, eyes all swirly. Shadow showed up panting, and dealt Linger a firm blow about the head.

"Owie!" Linger yelped, rubbing her skull and sitting up biting her lower lip.

"Dork!" Shadow replied, steam rising above her and a deathglare in her eyes.

"Wugg!" Linger yelled back happily, not paying any attention to the obvious fact that Shadow was MAJORLY pissed off. Shadow gave Linger a harder blow that sent the dimwitted, wolf-eared traveling companion face first into the dirt. Linger mumbled something, and then laughed in the dirt. Shadow had a few dozen veins popping out of her head, and red glinty demon eyes with a flaming background behind her (Hey, they're in an anime... ANYTHING can happen). Growling, she tackled Linger and a small cloud of dust picked up, with sounds of someone being brutally murdered coming from inside. When it cleared, Linger was on the ground with her feet hanging over her head, with a good half dozen bumps on her head, tongue hanging out, eyes in swirls, a bloody nose, a jaw hanging slightly out of place, and a large puddle of drool forming on the ground at her chin. Shadow was sitting a few feet away, eyes closed, and a few less veins popping.

"Gwaaa" gurgled Linger, her body rocking over and collapsing.

"That... felt so good," Shadow grinned evilly. "_Making people suffer is more fun than Legato lets on!", _she thought cruelly to herself. Linger recovered around five minutes later from her pummeling. Hopping off the ground she went about rummaging through the pack which she had conveniently removed before Shadow insisted on knocking a few teeth out of her. All they had were two sodas, an MP3, a Zippo, a CD player, a CD case, a bag of cucumber seeds, some weeds that had gotten thrown in accidentally, two dollars, two oranges, a toaster, a laptop, and a bologna sandwich. Wait, there was Bob, who had come to life in anime. Before he got a chance to complain, Linger had zipped up the pack. There was a muffled yell of what sounded like "Shitbrained imbecile" from the pack and Linger opened it. With a gasp she excitedly exclaimed,

"The toaster spoke to me Shadow!" Shadow gave her a weird look and came over, making sure to give the idiot an extra slap in the back of the head.

"Toasters don't talk Linger," she commented in a dry tone, accustomed to her friend's lack of common sense and intelligence.

"But it just called me a shitbrained imbecile!"

"What the fuck?"

"Yes Linger, you ARE a shitbrained imbecile!" Bob spoke up, climbing out of the pack. Bob was a rather critical minded 'voice' that Linger harbored in the remains of her mind. He was often accompanied by Tsunami, .5, and others. Linger had packed her plushie tarantula, who represented Bob. Only slightly larger than the plushie, he'd fit on a small dinner plate.

"If Bob's alive... then we're not in Kansas..." Linger announced slowly, finally starting to get what was going on...

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"

I hoped you liked this chapter! This is my first fanfic in you cant tell Xx I actually do it during class... During MATH classs.


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